The first day it was hard to get used to being supine, the second day I wanted to help with everything Doug was doing (thank you Krystle for coming over and helping him!!) and today? Well, can depression set in this soon??
This morning Brooks and I had an appointment at Kaiser for Antepartum Testing (fetal monitoring, an Ultrasound to check amniotic fluid levels and blood pressure check). Brooks did great (yeah, he is a rock star!!), our fluid levels were perfectly normal and my blood pressure was good!
The nurse I saw was ummmm... less than friendly? Apparently you normally don't "meet criteria" for monitoring until you are 32 weeks (28 weeks at the earliest). Let me see, we are 27 weeks and THREE days and yet we are "too early". Wow!! The nurse didn't want to do the monitoring but was nice enough to say "well, you are already here so we can do it, but I will be talking to the doctor about your Friday appointment". Are you serious?!?
She said that based on our little guys heart rate accelerations during the monitored period he is "probably older than 27 weeks"-- I have NO idea how you can tell this, but ok... And he is currently breech, this little dude better flip around (he still has weeks to do this) because a c-section is not in my future!!
After our appointment we came home to wait for the Comcast guy to install cable in the bedroom (thank you Doug for setting this up!!) and he actually arrived ON TIME! Ellen, Miles and I hung out in bed and looked at things online and talked (Ok, Miles may have slept a little) while he set things up and now here I lie....
As I write this I can't help but feel guilty. Guilty because I should be at work. We have a child on the way and here I lie doing nothing. Guilty because there are a million things to do around the house. Everyday that Doug is off he has something to do- now he has even more! Guilty because I am apparently not a good host. We are going twice a week to make sure I am not harming our unborn child with my blood pressure. Guilty because I am already a bad Mom! At this point my only job is to keep him warm, safe and well nourished. How hard can that be???
Wow! I had now idea you were such a Catholic with all that guilt! (LOL) Don't feel guilty. You're doing your job well, Mama; just lay in bed and let the little guy grow. There are other people in the world to do what has to be done outside of your bedroom. Yes, the world goes on without us?? What?? Amazing, isn't it???
ReplyDeleteyou make me laugh anne!
ReplyDeletei have this vision of becoming fat and flabby- yuck!!!
but it would be worth it for little brooks ;)
Really...guilt! That's crazy! Just relax...this is a time to take some deep breaths and do what's best for you and Brooks. Doug understands...he wants you and the baby safe more than anything!!! And yay...I finally was able to post. I seriously get on the "real" computer once a week or so..it's much more user friendly from the laptop!
ReplyDeleteAHHH welcome to motherhood, always full of guilt!! You are the BEST mother in the world!! Instead of doing what you want to do, you are setting it all aside to care for him and making Brooks number one!! BEST MOM EVER!! Love ya lots, hang in there!!
ReplyDeletefeeling brooks moving around inside me right now make me smile.
ReplyDeletei know this will all be worth it the moment i see his little face.
Andi is right. With motherhood comes guilt. "I should have played with them more. I should have fed them better today. I should have handled it better" and on and on! Relax and enjoy this peaceful time in your life. You'll be a great Mommy.
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